Joseph H. Hawkins to Stephen F. Austin, 07-23-1822
Summary: Disbursements on the colony. Slavery.
My Dear Sir—
There is so much to say to you it is difficult to take up the subject of the deepest interest. Should you have reached the mouth of the Colorado you will there hear of the various ebbs and flows by which we have been buffetted sometimes on land and sometimes on the water.
Our disbursements now exceed $6000 in dollars— I fear you have disbursed double that sum in fatigue and constitution—When and how reimbursements will take place we must leave to tide and time.
I literally long to see you. Even if all be lost we shall have some
pleasurable excitement some sanguine tho' defered hope. These are
the feelings that render us boyafit in adversity and sweeten prosper-
I send you some news papers and package of old letters none of which have I answered. I found it necessary to be extremely cautious in writing about your grant or the guarantees you could give settlers as to slavery laws etc.—
My prudence was well timed—If things are as you desire, we can now secure a population of a different cast one which would prosper any Country—
I am struggling along staggering under my load—some times ready to yield further effort—give up the world and seek some spot where I could be allowed the peace of mind necessary to look about me and to die —But hope springs eternal in the human Breast— opens new prospects to the desponding mind—and keeps alive the effort necessary to save us from dispair.
Your friend Mosques [Ramon Musquiz?] has been here and goes out in the Only Son—He appears every way worthy the high character you give him
Hoping soon to see you if your affairs will authorise it I remain as ever very truly yrs
There will be some matasses on board the sloop Only Son-—take such things as you may need—J H H—