[From Williams Papers, Rosenberg Library, Galveston, Tex.]
Mexico Augt. 21. 1833 Wednesday
Dr Sir,
Yours of 13 July came to hand yesterday via vera cruz—it was a
relief to me for I began to think the cholera had taken you off. I
recd the two letters of credit on E W Gregory of one thousand
dollars and have not used them yet, but expect shall have to do it in
part, at least.
What are considered promonitory simptons of cholera gave me
warning since monday of last week. I was then much engaged in
trying to get the 11 article of the law of 6 april before congress in a
favorable shape and it was to have been sent in on Wednesday, but
the cholera prevented a meeting and has done so ever since on that
day I fatigued myself very much indeed. This brought my
simptons to a crisis, for I was taken about 3 o'clock P. M. with excessive
purging of a whitish mucos character, great pain in bowels, cold
feet, legs, hands, etc, pains over the body—no cramps—moderate
vomiting—this was evidently the first stage of this desease and
would probably have passed into the collapse in a short time. It
was at this moment I closed a few lines to you by the last mail and
applied cholera remidy—in about 3/4 of an hour I was releived by a
fine perspiration which I think saved my life, for others have died in
less than one hour whose simptons were similar to mine. This
desease prostrates the strength to a most astonishing degree. I find
that I sensibly feel the effects of the billious attacks I have had in
Texas and the quantity of calomel etc I had to take—my stomach
is so debilitated that I have to diet with great caution to avoid a
relapse.
I think I shall go out tomorrow to Tacubaya—two leagues, where
Genl Mason—Butler and many others have retired some time since—
all kind of business is suspended. I must wait untill the cholera
subsides. I fully believe that 11 article of law of 6 april 1830 will
be repealed in a few days after business is resumed again and the
state question I think will be placed on favorable grounds and will
also succeed—tho I may be deceived.
Sterling Robinson [Robertson] has presented to the State Govt
a long memorial about his business in which there are depositions
taken before Chrisman to prove that he introduced a great number
of settlers which I took away from him etc. how he could get men to
state such falsehoods or agents to advocate and arrange them I am
at a loss to imagine—it has really surprised me—it seems that I
shall never learn to suspect mankind or to know, untill I am driven
into mysanth[r]opy.
As to the man you talked with at Orleans who said he would take
a different course and induce his brother to do so—I can only say
that God can certainly change the negro to a white man, but that is
a miracle not common in our days, what I mean is that envy,
jealoucy, malignity when once deeply fixed in the human heart and
fostered by boyish and silly vanity, are not easily rooted out, nor
easily controuled.
The holders of 11 L. grants ask three four and even $10000 for
them—que tal—many of them will be lost for October is the limit
for the locations. I am anxious to secure the, do not neglect this and
put it in the name of Jose Maria Aguirre in preference to the
others—attend to them all, I want that place to get out of trouble
for I mean to go and live there—it is out of the way and will do for
an academy scheme with which I can amuse myself and do good to
others. I have not seen Gen Mexia he is with Santana—Zavala is
at Toluca, has only been a few hours in Mexico since I arrived he
will be in after the cholera is over. Mexia is the most firm
republican there is in this country and I believe one of the most honest
and best men in it—they are both friends of the state question. Don
Victor has been more bitter than anyone I have heard of—he is now
much softened down and is not a violent enemy. He is a decided
friend to the repeal of the april law.
Close all the important colony business as quick as possible, and
keep clear of speculators, they are friends just so long as is
necessary to get a hold on one, by which ruin or disgrace can be brought
on and no longer—caution John against all speculators and take
care not to involve me or my name. I had rather herd with vermin
than with that class of human beings. Write to Perry that I am
well—and think that I am cholera proof. I hope they may be fever
proof this year, but I tremble for them after the overflow—they
ought to go to chocolate bayou. No one writes to me. I know not
whether you are all dead or alive. I got one letter from John late
in June—this is the only one—how is little Stephen and Henry
Austins family and my sister and how is Perry getting on at peach
point and a thousand things that someone might write me.
I hope Sarah and children are all well and all goes on harmoniously.
I shall spare no labor on this trip, for it is my last—others are
desirous to take the lead and I am quite anxious they should. I
confess that I am tired of abuse which I never have merrited, and
do what I may I expect nothing else from one set in Texas, tho
they are poor devils, unprincipled, brutal and ungenerous and
ungrateful—with all the errors and infernal Spanish prejudices and
ignorance of these people, I cannot help but feel a great anxiety
for their welfare and prosperity—they wish to be free and to be
like the rest of the civilized world and I think it is more noble to
try and aid them and encourage, than to abuse and ridicule. Do try
and soften some of our rough boys as to the Bexar people. I assure
you that all Texas is greatly in debt to Bexar for the remonstrance
of 19 Decr last—that paper was reprinted here and has had more
weight in favor of Texas, than all that has been done or said. I
doubt much whether the memorial of the convention would have
been even looked at, had not the minds of Govt, been prepared by
the Bexar representation. It came from natives and is believed. I
was fully aware of all this—an therefore wasted so much time and
pains to effect that object for which some of our boys abused me—
vaya. I hope soon to be once far in beyond their reach—two trips
to Bexar in the dead of winter exposed to rain and Indians, and a
trip to Mexico all on my own expense, and get brutal slander for
pay—none but a fool, a poor devil wrould continue to serve people
who treated him in that way, or would suffer others to do it. I will
however do my duty and serve them faithfully, at the risk of life and
all I am worth. I have undertaken to do it and I will do it—but for
the future I will try and look to my own comfort a little more and
keep myself free from such enormous responsibilities which none
but an honest and liberal man can comprehend or appreciate. I
ought to despise my slanderers and do despise them, but it sours me
with human nature. I am too apt to run into extremes. I followed
conciliation to a great extreme from a sense of duty to the settlers—
and I am not in danger of falling into its opposite extremes.
[Stephen F. Austin.]